the trees were hunter green

fresh leaves eager to sprout

the girl arrived at the scene

in time to find a way out.

she drove around in circles

her thoughts racing faster than her car

she dreaded all the hurdles

she wasn’t getting very far.

losing her partner in crime

sent her into a frenzy

now she was the only one doing the time

while developing behaviors that were unhealthy.

the memories constantly resurfacing

felt like being trapped in a mirror maze

the voices wouldn’t stop whispering

she would do anything to set them ablaze.

when she hated the weather

she held onto her sweater

hoping to relive all those memories

it was hard at first

she tried not to be immersed

in the pain associated with her accessories.

when she remembered her lover

she tried not to hover

over the fact that they were gone

it was easier to push it away

than deal with it today

but it was difficult not to feel like a pawn.

if she gave healing some time

she wouldn’t act like it was a crime

to forgive yourself in moments like this

but it’s easier said than done

when your closed wounds are undone

and you’re once again far away from bliss.

shades of red

impossible to overlook

almost dead

if you take a closer look.

begging for water

dreading the sunlight

thinking about slaughter

losing the gunfight.

too late for savior

their limit was reached

this life was a failure

death was complete.

the only emotion she could decipher was fear

she vehemently hated when her future was unclear

this apprehension that she felt was making her nauseous

she used up all her energy in being overcautious

but organizing and being prepared didn’t help at all

the terror she was consumed by made…

the clouds were pretty

but ugly to the touch

they were scared that the city

would easily escape their clutch.

the ground was far

miles and miles away

a shooting star

was on their way.

independence was tricky

it was easier to live in dreams

the situation was sticky

more complicated than it seemed.

were they ready to fall?

or was it too scary?

why did they feel so small?

so weak and so weary?

a picture speaks a thousand words

but this one in particular just could not be heard

an idea generated with no basis in reality

the person who came up with it was losing morality

once you’re stuck, it’s hard to get out

an endless loop with no exit throughout

everyone seems to see clearly but you

that picture you painted won’t stop obstructing your view

when you eventually snap out of it, will it be way too late?

the situation that you’re in is far too risky to debate.

too much ego

drove them insane

petty excuses

never made it okay.

they hated you for

those so-called sins

you finally realized

you could never win.

it wasn’t the best choice

but it didn’t matter anymore

build a new home

you have so much to restore.

guilt always came

with unbearable sadness

you didn’t deserve

that descent into madness.

erasing the past

never comes easy

thinking about it too long

always made you queasy.

you’re too young to think

about biting the dust

you just never had the chance

to establish enough trust.

you have to find another way

to achieve peace

this isn’t over

so go grab your keys.

first steps

accompanied by fear

accidentally neglect

those with tears.

plead the fifth

condemn attachment

create a myth

pick up the fragments.

practice indifference

hope for the best

let go of sufferance

don’t keep it suppressed.

but if you play stupid games

you win stupid prizes

check off the names

clean up the crisis.

disturbing the natural order of things

never was any trouble to her

she was particularly good at pulling strings

but all of it was just a big blur.

blood is thicker than water they say

she never agreed with that though

it always used to be easy to fall prey

to people she didn’t really know.

but now she wasn’t naïve anymore

lunacy drove her decisions

plans involving way too much gore

constructed with perfect precision.

you thought it was all over

until it happened again

you lost your composure

it all went downhill then.

it’s hard to be in control

of something you’re afraid of

falling down a rabbit hole

but it was you who gave the shove.

this happened one too many times

and you were pretty exhausted

were you really responsible for the crimes

you committed but never wanted?

it was now hard to let go

of something you were forced to hold onto

you really needed to know

it was time to accept what you had gone through.

Ananya C

writer. 20. she/her.

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