my struggle with writer’s block

I have been writing for as long as I can remember — poems, short stories and more. My parents have always told me I had a knack for writing and I didn’t really realize it until I got older. Over the past few years, my passion for writing grew and grew, and so did my writer’s block.

I understand the irony that comes with writing about not being able to write (my sister just pointed this out). But if this somehow helps me get out of my writing slump, I’m going to do it!

I don’t know why I have writer’s block. I have so many ideas in my head, but for some reason, when I start typing them out into a cohesive story, I just can’t do it, let alone finish it. I have never been able to finish a story. I know I’m young, and I have a lot of time in this world, but every time I think about the fact that there hasn’t been a single story that I have successfully completed, I feel horrible about myself. I know I’m not alone, but I feel alone. I feel unproductive. I feel unaccomplished.

More often than not, I worry that maybe writing just isn’t for me. Maybe I’m not good at it. And that very possibility terrifies me. All I want is to be able to move other people or even myself with words. If I can’t do that, and it turns out I’m not actually good at it, I’ll be devastated.

Most of the time, I think the reason why I don’t or can’t write is because I’m lazy. I’ve been at home for over a year now, and I haven’t been doing much. I think I’ve gotten so used to doing absolutely nothing, that most of the time I can’t bring myself to do anything remotely productive anymore. That scares me too. College starts in August, and I’m worried I won’t be able to handle the pressure that comes with studying, working, and especially writing. Will I even find time for myself?

I miss writing. I really do. I miss feeling a sense of achievement after completing a chapter. I miss coming up with new ideas for plots and character developments. I miss writing poems too. What I don’t miss is feeling like nothing I write is any good. I think my biggest problem with writing is that I’m too hard on myself, and I guess that might be the reason for my writer’s block.

Anyway, I know this (article? I’m not actually sure what this is) doesn’t have any structure- it’s just a random flow of thoughts. I wanted to share this in hopes that it might inspire to get out of my slump and start writing again. If writer’s block is a recurring issue for you, please feel free to comment or email me and let me know! Talking about it might help.

Thank you so much for reading! I hope the next time you hear from me, you get to read my work, and not me complaining about not being able to create any. I hope you have/had an incredible day!

• Ananya Chakraborty. 20. She/her.